It's not the petty imperfections that define us but the way we hold our hearts.
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Swimming has really helped me control my anger since I use it as an outlet. I just don’t know what I’m going to do once the season is over.
I will do anything right about now to swim tomorrow at the meet.
I went from being sad all the time to just being angry all the time. I’m not sure which one is worse.
I have not had a legit crush on anybody in almost four years, and I miss the feeling. Like no I’m only physically attracted to people, but I haven’t be attracted to someone for who they are in a long time.
I was born in Peru, and my parents always worked as it was very difficult for us to pay the bills. I was very young then, so I don’t remember much. I just know that we couldn’t pay off all the bills, so we would alternate which ones to pay each month. And because of this my parents were never really home with me, and I was too young to go to school yet. Not to mention I was a sick kid so I missed school a lot. My grandma would always take care of me. She was my best friend. And she would also bring me my little juice box and a small pastry each time she had to babysit me. I was so very much close to her, and she loved my company as much as I loved hers. At the time I was the youngest grandchild of hers, everyone else was a lot older and would rather hang out with their friends then their grandma. So I was the one who would hold her hand and accompany her everywhere. Fast forward a couple years and I moved here, to the states. Everything here was good. Both my parents had stable jobs. But then we received bad news. My grandma had suffered a stroke and became paralyzed on the right ride of her body. I remember my mother being sad for days, and completely crying her eyes out. Eventually, my grandma recovered. She was still paralyzed, but she could move her fingers, and speak again and it was good. All into last week, when she suffered another stroke. At first she responded to treatment. But sadly, she passed away this morning. I was in shock and in denial at first. She couldn’t be dead, I haven’t seen her in three years or talked to her in two. I regret not speaking to her in that long. But we would both get really emotional over the phone and it was hard to understand one another. But now she’s in a better place right? She’s finally at peace. I just wish I was there in her final moments. I just wanted to see her again, I was looking forward to it. And you know what sucks the most out of all this? I won’t be able to attend her funeral. But I can’t stay sad forever, I have to be strong. For myself, and for the rest of my family, especially my mother.
RIP Mamama, te quiero mucho.
Solo quiero ver a mi abuela una vez mas. La extraño.
Forever isn’t real. People walk in and out of our lives all the time. It happens, and when it does we move on. Some faster then others. And honestly; I don’t expect anyone who I am friends with now to talk to me five years from now. People change. And there’s nothing we can do about it. The only person we really have is ourselves. Which is why you shouldn’t count on others for happiness, because they won’t always be there. And I’m honestly not sad about this. I’ve realized this for a long time now. We can find happiness on our own. We can find it within ourselves.
I have like no sympathy for people, and I end up pretending to feel bad when in reality I don’t really care.